A Buy Named Souza
Steamer/Razzball projections are at or near the top with the best projections in baseball. Not the best at our site, that's easy, they are. They're the best when people drop nerd science with...
View ArticleBlowout Sale
Imagine Gangsta Gangsta's Ice Cube singing, "With a right left, right left you toothless, and then you say goddamn they ruthless," but not coming out of Ice Cube's mouth, but out of Glass Joe's mouth...
View ArticleGattis Might Pips The Mariners
Yesterday, Evan Gattis went 2-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs with his 5th and 6th homers, while hitting four homers in the last three days. After the game, Gattis likened this streak to the five red lights in a...
View ArticleGallo Is A Fine Wine Before It’s Time
Adrian Beltre was diagnosed with a dislocated left thumb. The doctor said it could be anywhere, his glove compartment, upstairs by the hamper, in the basement by the weights we bought you in high...
View ArticleHeston In Planet Of The Aughts
When Chris Heston entered the 1st inning and said, "Keep your stupid bats off my pitches, you damn dirty Mets," we should've known we were in for a historic night. Or at least a histrionic one. I was...
View ArticleWolfgang Ahmeniscus Cozart
Member how I was saying yesterday that I owned Zack Cozart in multiple leagues, and he was a top five shortstop this year on our Player Rater, but I didn't really appreciate him? Do I even need to tell...
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers, Week 18: Wilson Drifts Away
According to IMDB, Tom Hanks' character spent 1500 days alone on the island. We don't have that much time left in a baseball season — although I'd love to see small sample size debates still raging...
View ArticleSayonehara
The Red Sox season is like the guy that knocks over the Jenga structure with the first block pulled, then manages to somehow knock every single block off the table, even the ones on the very bottom....
View ArticleShoemaker Jockeys Verlander For One-Hit Derbies
As Jeff Probst once said, "Turnabout is Johnny Fairplay," which was his mashup of Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart line, "Turn around, bright eyes," which was co-opted by a children's toy...
View ArticleAmbulance Report, Week 25: Injuries and Ensuing Panik
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, It was the age of 60-day DL moves, It was the age of activations and promotions, It was the epoch of balancing playing time options, It was the...
View ArticleTop 80 Outfielders for 2016 Fantasy Baseball
We're nearing the end of hitters in the 2016 fantasy baseball rankings, but there's still a few buzzer-beating gems left. Ranked this late last year was David Peralta....and he's ranked again this...
View ArticleRazznasty Update: 2016 Dynasty Baseball League
Welcome back campers to the second season of Razzball's homegrown dynasty baseball league, "The Razznasty", filled with readers, writers, commenters, and J-FOH. It's with great pleasure that I ring in...
View ArticleAstros Choose Luke Over The Force
*takes a long inhale* "You smell that, Roberta? You, with the yellow-stained armpits and sweatpants, I'm calling you Roberta. That's baseball you smell. In its infinite complexity and finite...
View ArticleShelling Duvall
A Duvall hasn't looked this good since Popeye starring Robin Williams. You thought I was going Robert Duvall and I steered it into Crazytown with Shelley Duvall. By the way, don't look at current...
View Article(Dy)Sunrise, (Tolle)Sunset
Tolleson had his cookies tossed for the last time on Tuesday. Or maybe Shawn Tolleson caused his owners' cookies to be tossed? Sounds too passive, said Flesch-Kincaid, but you get the idea. By the...
View ArticleLook Who Justin Showed Up
Did I just get something from nothing? Because Justin Upton is nothing, and I got something yesterday -- 2-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (4) and legs (2). Therefore, hence, Argo the movie,...
View ArticleGio Gonzalez’s Ratios Too Filling? Try Gio Lito!
Here's what I said this offseason, "Before watching the video on Lucas Giolito, I looked at his vitals. This is something I don’t usually do. Doesn’t really matter to me if a guy is six-foot-one or...
View ArticlePolanco Declares Indongpendence Twice
Hey, Razzball Nation, you know it's your favorite white boy, right? I owe you this one. I've been patiently waiting for Gregory Polanco to explode on. You can pfft if you want but his ankles were...
View ArticleHendricks Gins Up Another Gem
Yesterday, Kyle Hendricks went 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks, lowering his ERA (if that's even possible at this point) to 2.09. The Seattle museum, Experience Music Project is going to need to...
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers: Hoping for Trout But Getting Jennings
In order to write this article, I quickly jot down any player who I see or hear about being reported injured throughout the week, just so I can check back later and see the extent of the injury. I have...
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